This isn't PCP related, but I had to write about it.
My mom was driving me to a sporting goods store to get me a jump rope, and we were driving on this overpass and I looked out my window and saw the setting sun, and all the light bathing the cars and the asphalt. Everything looked amazing, all colorful - the picture of summer. I'd like to make a note that this is the first day of light that we've had in Massachusetts for what feels like forever (I want to say it's been about a week; a week of constant rain). Now, it's not that I dislike the rain, but as you can imagine, I was beginning to miss the sun.
As we were driving away, I was thinking about how awesome it would be just to sort of relax somewhere that had similar qualities. I guess sitting the side walk would kind of suck - imagine the noise and the exhaust. And even if I could find such a place that didn't have any of the negatives, there's no way I could really enjoy it. I mean, I'd need to be with friends, but all my friends have this attitude - it's hard to explain; places to hang out aren't really judged by their aesthetic appeal, they're judged by their security. I mean, they ask the question, "is anyone gonna see us while we get drunk/high?" I don't think I need to tell you guys that these places are really unpleasant.
So, I thought to myself, "when I can finally lucid dream, I'm going to go to a place that has this beauty with a dream character, and just kind of chill and fly or whatever", but then it occurred to me "hey, I'm already here right now" and when I realized that, I felt completely relaxed, and I felt very light. I simply felt free. That moment slipped into the next, and into the next. I let the beauty of each moment wash over me.
That feeling of freedom is something i've been trying to find for a while. I don't really feel it anymore, but that doesn't mean it's left me.
Like I said, nothing to do with the project (other than the fact that I was on my way to get a better jump rope), but I felt it was worth writing about. And I pretty much expect everyone to be thinking "wtf?" while they read this, it's a little odd. So yeah, that's it I suppose.
Oh yeah! And I got a new jump rope, so I'm going to see if it's worth anything right now.
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Hey Bryan. It sounds like you had a real nice moment there. Sometimes, nature just likes to reach out to us once and a while and remind us to stop and see the sun every once and a while. And, just an observation, but your friends sound like their pretty ashamed of themselves. Whether they are or not, I don't know. Just an observation. I find it odd someone so health conscious and with such good advice for someone like me prefers the company of those who shun the sun in a manner of speaking. Are you hoping to inspire them? Be their guiding light?
ReplyDeleteAgain, just an observation.
Haha, damn Sean, I'd say you're probably dead on. Only one of my friends who liked to get messed up like that wasn't ashamed of himself. They all have some sort of trouble.
ReplyDeleteAnd actually, I rarely see them. The only friend from that group I've spent any time with has (unknown to me until recently) been trying to get away from all that.
Originally, I was just like them, but not anymore. I would love to help them, but most of them don't want it (or don't need it, as they're on their own way to better things)
Also, "shun the sun" was awesome.
I have to say Bryan, that you really impress me. I see you picking up on a lot of awareness nuggets (both internal and external) that a lot of people have a hard time bringing into their conscious life. Especially as young as you are. Keep exploring those sides of yourself and those around you man!
ReplyDeleteha, thanks Seabass. I blame my unrelenting desire for the answering of the question "what is all this?"
ReplyDeleteJust the fact that you ask that question with an open mind puts you light years ahead of most people in terms of staying happy, interested, and challenged. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHaha, thanks, but I wouldn't say that that question has always lead to happiness. Interesting challenging situations? Oh, definitely yes.
ReplyDelete