As I type this, I think I am beginning to feel the full weight of the stress induced by loneliness. Tomorrow, I need to get all of my god damn chores out of the way; mowing the lawn, cleaning the kitchen, and then I need to find another human being to interact with.
What am I, anyway? I'm speaking in terms of introversion and extroversion. And I also know that no one reading this can answer that question. It's probably not something that can be pinned down easily, if at all. The analysis, I find, is very tiring, especially at the current moment. All I've noticed is that social interaction has become easier, which is essentially why I started doing this.
Something also worth noting. At around 6 pm today, I was getting really fidgety. Like, crawl-out-of-my-skin fidgety. I have been working out at 7 for a little while now. Make of that what you will.
I am really appreciative of the PCP. I needed this shit. But God knows that once this is all over, I am going out and partying with my friends. I won't get drunk, but I'm going out and hanging out with my friends as much as possible.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I hear you. I feel hanging out with friends now is a bit exhausting because I must resist all the temptations. Balancing this feeling without being too lonely has been a challenge. I am pretty much equally an introvert and extrovert, with the former being my life for the past 3 months. After PCP I am going out, I hope not to get drunk, but considering what my tolerance will be, a beer will most likely do it for me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, it makes it much easier to relate and realize others feel the same way. Because of this, it becomes more of a, "Alright I can get through it, its normal." That way I don't take it too personal.
Alas, you'll never party in quite the same way again. I wish we had a social system where it wasn't impossible for a PCPer to enjoy a night out with friends, but we're not there yet. Here's to finding the introvert extrovert balance!
ReplyDeleteHang out all you want when this is over, but if these people that you hang out with really care about you, you will be able to stay healthy in their company. If they're just looking to break you down again directly or indirectly by enabling poor choices, then they're not friends at all, no matter what they may say to the contrary. And screw the introvert/extrovert labels. You are you and that's all that matters. If your around people and can't be you, then maybe you should look for other people.
ReplyDeleteI too am more or less equal parts introvert and extrovert. Luckily, Refusing to give up Magic for the last few months has more or less kept my extroverted parts satisfied. That said, I very much miss going out to the bars after magic and hanging out with my friends there. I hate to say it, but there's a actually a (now frighteningly) large portion of my social circle that I only see when there's booze.
ReplyDeleteWhile I miss those nights of frivolity, not worrying about how you'll feel tomorrow, I don't miss being drunk. On my birthday this year I remembered how fucked up I got last year and suddenly felt exuberant out the clarity of my mind this year, and how much I enjoyed being fully in control of me. So I don't think I'll be of the "woo! let's get wasted!" mentality again, It'll be nice to partake of a beer or two at the bar, or while playing D&D.
That said, I have no eagerness for the loneliness that will come from watching all my friends drink and eat with reckless abandon knowing that I'm the only one in the room who can't let himself do that to his body. It makes me wish we PCPer's lived in closer proximity so we could hang out and have healthy fun at least once in a while.
Guys, like begets like. Be patient. The friends who respect your PCP world will come.
ReplyDelete